


And I Watch

by vogue91



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Implied/Referenced Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-11
Updated: 2017-12-11
Packaged: 2019-02-13 12:20:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12983961
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vogue91/pseuds/vogue91
Summary: Heroes are dead.We will live in a limbo forever.





	And I Watch

**Author's Note:**

> English is not my native language. Sorry in advance for any mistake you may find.

**And I Watch**

Fire. Pain. Fear.  
So much fear.  
It floats through the houses’ walls, among those that still stand, it gets inside like an unwanted guest, it makes us slaves, it forbids us to think.  
We’re lost in a limbo, we can’t fight because you can’t oppose this pure essence of horror, that slips through our fingers like it’s nothing more than smoke.  
We just can keep on waiting for Death to come knocking on our doors, and then choose whether to wield those few weapons we have, hoping she’s a more tangible and corporeal foe, or welcome it like an old friend, come to break our captivity’s chains.  
We don’t know how to react, and this kills our hope to see the sunlight once more, just once more.  
Every night I kiss my Neville, I tuck him in and then I cry.  
Every time, like it’s my last chance to say goodbye to my baby, lucky for the innocence of his age, which doesn’t allow him to know terror.  
At the reunions of the Order I watch my companions in the eyes, and I see in them my same feelings. We’ve all got something to lose, and that’s what makes us weak in the eyes of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named. Dumbledore keeps saying that it is our love that still keeps us afloat, that hasn’t allowed us to surrender, and after a brief initial reticence I found myself agreeing.  
I stay on course and keep going to allow my son to walk under a blue sky, in a world worth living in.  
He fights merely for the taste of the pain he inflicts on us, to conquer a fleeting empire, destined to disappear at the first blow of the wind.  
We have families and friends, we’ve got the whole Wizarding World weighing on our shoulders and no good reason to offer them to hope that it’ll be over soon, leaving our affections untouched.  
I look at Frank, who never fails to smile to me. I know he’d love to close my eyes on all that’s happening, that he’d like to pretend the existence of a world capable of giving us that serenity we dreamt of when we got married. That’s why I love him even more, if possible.  
But I am no child, and as much as I’d like to pretend, I’m forced to keep my eyes wide open, even though this effort of mine is rarely rewarded.  
The Black Mark seems to be everywhere, and I watch.  
People die, their innocent blood flows, and I watch.  
Panic, fear and frustration are burned on all of our faces, and I keep watching.  
And I move, I act, like all my friends and comrades, but we can never keep up with Death, we let everything slip through our fingers right when we think we can catch it, that we can stop this abomination that’s taking place every minute of every day.  
We’re impotent in the face of this cruelty, of our own duties.  
But we never stop, convinced that someday something’s gonna change, that fog will stop surrounding us and that this fear will become a nasty memory, far from our minds, to keep safe in a locked drawer, which we’re never going to open again. 

~

I know what’s happening to me, even though I barely manage to understand.  
I’m becoming dead flesh, I’m becoming a soulless body. I feel reason leaving me, while the screams surrounding me become whispers.  
We thought we would’ve died, we would’ve spread our blood on the earth, and that the blood would’ve fed our victory.  
But there’s no blood to spill tonight, just screams and pain, that stops on the verge of death, because death would steal the fun out of this infernal game.  
I watch Frank’s eyes, and I know he’d smile to me even now, even under that mask irremediably deformed by torture.  
We won’t die, him and I.  
We’ll become two shells, unworthy to be killed, to be freed from this agony.  
The agony that’s stealing those moments of peace we knew how to find even in the darkest places, far more venomous than this senseless war.  
An ended war, but that is still taking us with it in its last remnants of existence.  
Pain leaves room to madness, and my eyes finally close.  
I don’t need to watch anymore, because the world does not exist.  
I will see again my so desired sun, but I won’t now I’m watching it.  
Heroes are dead.  
We will live in a limbo forever.


End file.
